Help Them Help You

Help them help you:
Words that build better support from your circle

You just feel it. When your friends and family have your back, it takes your wellness goals more attainable. And that's not only a feeling, it's supported by research.

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Support from others ups your motivation, kicks up your accountability, and makes healthy habits way easier to stick with. But what do you say to the people in your life when you don't feel the support you need? Check out these ways to get the point across.

HONOR "YOU" FIRST

We all have a friend or loved one who seems to push things on you that don't align with your lifestyle. Instead of giving in out of courtesy, extend the courtesy to yourself. It may help to acknowledge their well-meaning intentions. (They mean well, right?)

What you can say: "I can't but am with you in spirit. I know that's your love language."

JOY VS. KILLJOY

Some people will respond to your change in lifestyle habits as a punishment of sorts. Remind them that it is really working for you and that you now rely on this routine to feel great. This frames the change as something personal only to you, and not a suggestion for them.

What you can say: "I think I have finally cracked the code on what works for me and I really love it."

REDEFINE REWARDS

The favorite indulgence of your friend or family might be harmful for you. It doesn't have to be something sinfully decadent or just cynicism. These are moments to redirect the activity at hand to one that's a pleasure for all of you.

What you can say: "Instead of joining you at the after-party, I'd much rather hear all about it on a walk soon."

BUT SERIOUSLY

What if someone continually makes a joke about your choices? Sometimes mentioning that you have noticed their comments will turn the focus back on them. You do not have to defend your choices, but maybe they should have to defend their teasing.

What you can say: "You have verbalized this a few times now. Is there something going on?"

CHANGE IS SCARY (TO THEM)

People are often afraid of change, even if the changes are positive ones. Remember that the reason for that is often rooted in a fear of loss. While it's not your job to humor them, you can assure them the connection doesn’t have to disappear just because of change.

What you can say: "I am still me, and in fact, maybe I am more 'me' now than I ever was. I love it when you just ask about it."

The people in your life are there for a reason. If you are not getting the support you need from them, maybe it's time for a nudge – or maybe it's time to widen your circle. Positive habits are ultimately in your hands, and the right kind of support goes a long way.

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